Motherhood: it's a hoot.

 36 weeks but who's counting! Baby boy seems to be running out of room but he is not giving an inch without a fight. He slides his hands across my ribs with almost scientific interest before bracing one, maybe two feet against them for a good shove. Like an engineer testing for give. "Could this be a possible exit from this place?" he seems to ask. "If I apply enough pressure to point A, will she straighten up and increase my square footage? No? Hm...let's try...POINT B." He lives a very busy life in there. As uncomfortable as it sounds, I am always happy to "hear" from him, and it always feels like a miracle.

During the day he is not as active as night. I suppose my activities keep him entertained (Riley and Joe's chatter, my moving around, flavors from the food I eat, sounds, shifting light), or maybe it lulls him to sleep. But every night about five minutes after lights out, that's his time. "Hey! Hey you guys! Why'd you stop? Whatcha doing?" He's moving and kicking for an hour or so. Also, I sometimes get woken up by a body-jarring push, at 2, 3am.

Now, contractions will still him momentarily but that is not exactly sleepy time for me. "Ooh", I think, as my belly gets tight and hard like a basketball, "What if this is it?" But of course it is not. Braxton Hicks. And as soon as those subside, he's back at it, the little stinker. I suspect I know what his sleep cycle will be like on this side of the belly too. It's ok buddy - brother and sister were the same way.

Anywho, if one is going to be kept awake for such shinanigans, one might as well document. 

If I shined the light too directly on him he would cease immediately. Like this:

Watching a belly wobble about might not be the most riveting of material, I admit. I could document all the clumsy moments lately: spilling stuff and breaking stuff. Ooh - or the time I went to pass the sour cream and instead flung it all over Suzette's face and hair.

For a really exciting depiction of pregnancy this week, I could put a camera on the stairs 24/7 and you could just watch as I skid/fall down on my bum again and again. Bom-bom-bom-bom! Twice in 10 days this has happened. Dave suggested we install an elevator, or perhaps that I get socks with the rubber grippies on them (adult socks being beyond me now). The first time I thudded down the stairs, I peed my pants a little. The second time I upended a plate of avocado slices, shattering the plate across the floor and sliding through the avocado by the seat of my pants. It's ok - I noticed the avocado bum oh...three hours later. It is almost certain no one noticed shiny green/brown streaks on my derriere, right?

Meh - I have no shame. We're all adults here. Except in the matter of socks.

Might as well share week 35 video too. I really tried to catch the baby acrobatics with decent light to send to Dave, but the google tips for getting baby to move were a bust. The internet tells you:

1. Exercise √
2. Drink orange juice √
3. Lay on my left side√
4. Ice √
5. Sugar √
6. Dance √
7. Loud music √

The internet is full of it.

Anyway here it is, in all it's stretch-marked, outie bellybutton glory. If any of that makes you uncomfortable feel free to shut your rat face , I mean, er, skip this one.

Trying to get a baby that doesn't want to move to move.

Favorite part: "Atta boy, baby." You know what all that sugar did get me? Heart burn. Talking triple tums twice in one night. Bah. Stupid google.

Riley and Joe keep us laughing, that's for sure. Even on days that are nuts - like today: crepe paper explosion all over their room, three potty accidents, random fight break-out on the stairs like a couple of lumberjacks and me wading in sputtering things like, "what the heck is this? Wa, why? What is going on??" (Apparently Joe repeated himself and Riley didn't like it? I'm still confused.) Yet I go to bed smiling at their sweet sleeping faces and giggling over something they said or did. Which is how we will put this post to bed. Take us out, Riley and Joe!

Quoteables  

• Me: Where'd you put your socks? We need to find them!
• Joe: They're camouflaged. I don't think we'll ever find them.

The "baby shower" Riley and Joe surprised me with. They decorated. And made me a garden. And tried to have a dance party.

• Joe: Wiley, I need a screw driver - Mom locked the bathroom door again! [pause] I SAID I NEED A SCREWDRIVER!

• Riley: I'm a scientist and I know lots of things. Chocolate comes from coco beans. And the scriptures make us happy.

They thought they needed Easter hats. Like, a lot of them.

• Joe: I can't sleep with all this PINK!

Joe cried for half an hour till I found his neck pillow. Guess he needed the hood to block out all that pink coming from Riley's rose-covered lamp shade.

• Riley: What do you call a 3-humped camel? A 3-humped camel walking around! hahahaha
• Joe: *Sighs and looks out window* Mom, I wish I had a hump on my nose.

• Me: You want a taste of my frozen yogurt?
• Riley: *Laughs* Um, no. That looks like a breakfast. 

• Me: Joe, you have got to listen to Mommy and stop doing dangerous things that get you hurt like you've been doing all day!
• Joe: It's ok, Mom. Tomorrow is a new day. 

That's right folks, tomorrow is a new day. Sleep tight!