Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Resolutions

The past couple years I've jumped on the blogger bandwagon and picked a "word" to work on for the year. Beauty...gratitude...it was kind of a good idea, although with "gratitude" I sometimes felt like John Cusack on America's Sweethearts. "I'm grateful for the earth. I'm grateful for the stars and the sky..."

I read this quote somewhere that said,
"The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for." 
 It stuck with me and has helped me foster gratitude in my thinking. It went from, "I am thankful for this rain because the farms need it," to "I'm thankful for this cold because it means that I enjoy such good health that a little cold is my big concern." It crosses over to a lot of other aspects of life and it has helped me get through the hard stuff. You know, the ones that didn't make it on our Christmas card. Everyone has 'em. We don't talk about them if they are close to our heart or embarassing or whatever, but you have them, and I have them, and gratitude has made the burdens easier to bear, I'm telling you.

Totally got sideswiped by that tangent. What I was about to say was THIS year's resolution word eluded me. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood. JANUARY - looking at YOU. But about a week ago I was walking some cool down laps and I'm not sure but I might have experienced runner's high. But I was walking? It came as I was having a Maleficent day dream (if you've seen the movie, you will know what I'm talking about. Basically I was dreaming I had wings. Oh my gosh. I'm such a dork. Good thing I like to over-share on the internet.)
My eyes were up on the horizon instead of track like they usually are, my posture was erect, and I just felt an incredible sense of freedom. All the worries were lifted and I was breathing deeper and it was weird. Not that I think of myself as a "weighed down" type of person, but anxieties can build up, and just being a mom and keeping track of everyone's diets and poops and sleeps and activities and such, it can be a constant pressure that your brain doesn't often get a break from. "I need more of these moments!" I knew. I need more moments to set aside the "should's" and "what-if's" and relax my brain. My sister Lora has mentioned "brain breaks" in dealing with stress and I totally get it now. I didn't know how much I needed it till I had one.

"Freedom." "Peace." "Rejoice." "Brain-break?" haha.

I'm not picking a word this year. 

What I should probably do is learn to meditate, but in the meantime, I remembered one way I could always get that feeling. Soccer - I get so focused and caught up in the game that worries never trouble me out there. Hot Dang! Yep this whole long post was to tell you my New Year's resolution: to play more soccer. Andrea and I were talking about it the other day and I resolved to go to 9o'clock soccer at church, even though I love my sleep sooo much and have never  bothered to get up and go to the late night game, but I DID tonight and it was wonderful. I was the only girl and impressed my team by not sucking and it was a good night. I really need to learn Spanish though - I'm always on the Mexican team in pick up, probably because they assume I'm  the weak link so they put me with the better team. You know, to even things out. Ha. I'm a little smug.

And now it is super late and I need to wrap this up. I have so many more interesting things to catch up the blog about. Dave was gone for two weeks in China. Riley and Joe are hilarious. Dave and I went on a real live date to the ice skating rink downtown, but I'm going to go to bed so I don't hate myself tomorrow.
Oh, one more thing: Dave is getting face surgery tomorrow, btw! After months of worry (doctors giving us the run around and creams and what not till finally they biopsied this red spot on his face) we were happy he got diagnosed with the non-bad type of skin cancer, but it has to be removed so that is what Dave gets to do tomorrow. They cut off layer by layer till they reach a non-cancerous layer of skin, so hopefully his beautiful money-maker won't be too cut up.
One of his China pictures. I love the face mask haha
I love him so much.

PS: Riley and Joe are a delight and in no way standing in the way of my "freedom," just to be clear. Dave and I love being their parents; it is our great blessing to be fiercely raising them in this world we have. Thanks, Riley and Joe, for being your beautiful, exciting little selves.
 And thanks, Dave, for not letting them sleep in our bed. They totally took over while you were gone.
In case you were wondering how much space they gave me.
For reals though, good night.

1 comment: